Idols are basically selling a one-sided relationship to us. We’re all aware of this fact but a lot of people criticize the fandom for this reason. Many might argue that it is hurting our drive to pursue an actual romantic relationship. This post ties into this ANN we had about relationships as an idol fan.
Due to society’s gender roles, men are often expected to be successful in the romantic sense. You always hear on TV or in movies about the importance of romantic success. Idol fandom goes against this trend. The genre encourages us to support girls we have no chance of actually dating. So, is it causing fans to care less about actual human relationships?
Well, there really isn’t an all-encompassing answer to this. The only way I can really hope to provide commentary on this is if I ask myself how have my views on relationships changed ever since I became a fan. They have changed, but I don’t think it’s necessarily due to being into idols.
In high school, I really wanted to get into a relationship like most people at that age. I’m a really quiet guy in person so it didn’t work out very well. But what’s important is that I was an idol fan during the latter half of high school. My fandom didn’t really do much to discourage me though. I was still interested in getting a girlfriend. However, I did start to change my mindset towards the end of high school; thinking that I didn’t really have the time, money or even the patience for a relationship. Was this because I was an idol fan? I really don’t think so. It was just me getting older.
Ultimately it depends on the person. In the end, as long as you keep it a hobby, it’s not going to get in the way of your life. The members of our favorite groups seem to be better than real girls but most of us know they’re selling a fantasy. Even if their personalities aren’t faked, we can never date them. I believe that if you have your head in the right place, you’ll know this.
My answer to the question, “Do idols make you less willing to pursue relationships?” is that it is up to the person in question. While it is easy to put the blame on the person’s willingness to crush over their oshimen, I believe that a person who’s single due to his fandom would have been single regardless. It’s the same with any hobby. A person who says “2D > 3D” or one who would rather game than go on a date would have avoided romantic relationships regardless of their interests and we shouldn’t think any less of them for that reason. People care a bit too much about whether a person is dating or not when it’s really important to understand yourself first.
So, what do you guys think? This is a really personal subject so my opinions may differ from others. Do you think your fandom gets in the way of you pursuing romantic relationships? Leave your answers in the comments!