Come join Chase as he takes you on a journey through the newest AKS release and dives into the latest in a series of strange AKS PVs. Please don’t leave your snide comments and sarcasm at the door.
Another year, another janken single. There was a lot of speculation as to whether or not Paruru could carry the weight of being center in a major single, especially given her lack of emotional range.
Jokes aside, “Eien Pressure” is your typical generic and catchy idol song coupled with a PV that has the “WTF is going on” factor. The janken singles are arguably known to be the most generic A-sides that AKB releases throughout the year, so I’m going to briefly touch on the song itself and focus more on the PV for once.
At the very beginning of “Eien Pressure”, Paruru has a short solo that seems a bit too high for her vocal range; it sounds a bit strained and I actually physically winced when I first heard the song. After a couple more listens though, I slowly got used to her voice and now I barely notice it. The verses basically are a carbon copy of the verses in “Ue kara Mariko”, with thumping bass kick, palm-muted guitar, piano and small guitar lead lines. Remember what I said about generic? However, the chorus contains the one part of the song that I enjoy the most, and for some reason appreciate above all else in “Eien Pressure”. The echoed “Pressha” strongly reminds me of the repetition in “Heavy Rotation” (the “I want you I want you I need you I need you” part), and I like this a lot because it gives all the lyrically-illiterate fans (me!) something to sing along to. This aspect alone, in my opinion makes the song that much more accessible to everyone. Maybe this is why “Heavy Rotation” is so popular?
Moving on to the full PV now, this 11 minute long mindwarp starts off with Paruru dressed like Girl Scout meets Little House on the Prairie arriving at some boarding school or camp for idols in the middle of the woods.
She’s immediately greeted by Nito, who gives her a nice welcome by rolling her eyes back and talking like a creepy old woman.
There’s random sounds constantly going off during this whole scene, including horse whinnying, motorcycle revs, gunshot ricochets and cat mews every time a new person is introduced which greatly adds to the confusion and disorientation which is constantly building.
Miyu is really scared of everything for some reason and her lines consist of her screaming and running from what I assume is Paruru. Maybe she’s scared of Paru coming back from Majijo 3 to put the beatdown on her, yo!
In the next split second, Nakamura Mariko throws a dart at the door Miyu was running through and Uchida Mayumi makes a sweet trick catch, pinkie up.
Next up is a pervy fanservice scene which involves a growling creature creeping on Yui taking her clothes off and showering. If you watch the video closely, several leaves grow instantly in the places where it needs coverage. I SMELL A CONSPIRACY
Turns out creepy creature with a head cold was Yukirin. Apparently in nature, the wild Yukirin stalks her prey in the bathroom. Bathroom-goers beware!
Skip ahead to nighttime and Paruru is out on the balcony enjoying a nice apple when all of a sudden Ninja Tomochin appears, does a couple of backflips that are totally real and lands in a car with a new set of clothes and
the dude from EXILE some dude. Paruru’s reaction is pretty priceless.
Mariko is next up and she is presented as some kind of swami or holy person, complete with theme music and subtle eyebrow wiggling. Miyu freaks out again. Maybe she thought Mariko was trying to hit on her.
There’s more talking and then the PV finally starts, with dance shots spaced between scenes with Paruru roaming the woods. All of the other members send her off in some Red Riding Hood influenced garb and the villain is revealed: it is none other than Non! Kanon is apparently an evil witch, crystal ball and all, with some interesting body snatching powers.
Paruru isn’t fooled by Non’s sneaky deception, though, and holds up the signature “Asian girl taking pictures of herself” hand sign!
Sadly the flash is too bright for Non’s extremely photogenic face and blows her up. If only Paruru had remembered to set her fingers’ brightness below high, none of this would have happened.
Paruru eventually comes back with some red flowers and everyone congratulates her on a job well done. I guess going on a dangerous mission with an angry Non sabotaging you and coming back with some blooms is how one is accepted into social cliques nowadays.
So besides having less than 0% comprehension of what was going on during this PV, I actually somewhat enjoyed it, in the way that little babies like to watch television because of the pretty colors. The whole video had a sense of old timey-ness with occasional use of old film effect straight out of iMovie and black and white caption boxes.
“Eien Pressure” had its moments though, I especially enjoyed the nod to Uchida’s rock costume.
My biggest annoyance in PVs however, is people playing instruments when they don’t actually know how to play them. Maeda Ami is the biggest fake ever who has tried to play guitar in the history of the world.
There’s also some weird subliminal numbers thing like in “Heavy Rotation”. Aamin signs “7” “5” and “2”. If anyone knows what it means, please let me know, I’m very curious to see if it actually has importance or if Ami’s just screwing around.
So to wrap this long, picture laden review up, “Eien Pressure” as a song is not that bad. If you’re looking for a go-to, solid, standard stock idol song, this is the one for you. The B-sides to Eien are infinitely more interesting in my opinion, especially the NMB and OKL song. So if you’re maybe looking for more variety, I’d recommend checking those out. As for the PV, if one day you’re ever tripping on acid, try watching this, you might freak out and eat your monitor. Don’t do drugs, kids!