2chan Says the Darndest Things Vol. 8

Volume 8 of “2chan Says the Darndest Things”!
New idol nicknames!?
How Kashiwagi Yuki spends her day?
Your worst fear: your oshimen graduating.
How AKB changed your life.
Does your lover know you’re a wota?

AKS Idol Nicknames

Fujita Runa “Cousin”

Kuwabara Mizuki “The Devil of Tosa”

Ogiso Shiori “Perverted Joke Machine”

Yamauchi Suzuran “Idolfer”

Uchida Mayumi “The Rock”

Matsumoto Rina “The Dark Horse of Sakae”

Suda Akari “The Fisherwoman”

Kikuchi Ayaka “The Bomber That Returned”

Iwasa Misaki “The Indoor Boss Created by the Internet Society”

Miyazaki Miho “Space Fortress”

Kashiwagi Yuki “Idol Master”

Katayama Haruka “Self-Proclaimed 41st”

Ishida Haruka “Dull Butt Girl”

Oba Mina “Middle Finger Queen”

Takahashi Minami “Ribbon Warrior of Effort”

Oya Shizuka “The Girl Who Makes the Impossible, Possible”

Komori Mika “Intracerebral Fantastic World”

Minegishi Minami “Green Dinosaur”

Sugamoto Yuko “This Melon, from Fukuoka”

Kato Rumi “Real Fisher”

Kaneko Shiori “Natural Alien”

What Does Yukirin Do Everyday?

Hangs out with her mom.

Works on her abs.

Online games.

Training muay thai.

To be serious, coloring and origami.

Stares at the wall in a pitch black room.

Practices soccer <– that’s you! <– Crap, you’ve found out that I’m an idol.

Stares at the sky.

Flirts with Sae.

What Would You Do If Your Oshimen Graduated?

Meditate.

Runaway.

Make them my lover.

Commit seppuku.

Cry.

Lose happiness in life.

“Sore demo Sukidayo”

Move to Momoclo.

Support their career after their graduation.

Propose to them.

There’s plenty of members so just oshihen.

Graduation = better chance to date them. That’s great.

Smile on your face. Cry inside.

Second oshi turns into first oshi.

Things That Changed After You Started Liking AKB

I stopped saying crap about people. I stopped dissing things in general.

I cared less about other women.

Recordings started to pile up.

Stopped caring about small bumps on the road.

I get teary more often.

I lost the ability to know what an idol is.

I quit a job that I had for 6 years for lack of motivation. I was jobless and drank during the day and lived a pathetic lifestyle for 6 months but when I started watching AKB videos, I gained energy inside and started running during the day time and began to have a positive attitude and started working again. If I didn’t have AKB, I would have committed suicide or be dead in a ditch. I don’t care what other people say, but I thank AKB for that.

No money.

My wife and daughter do not call me, “papa” but call me, “creepy wota”. I do not regret a thing.

I started to look at ears and touching them.

I started liking people.

The amount of drinking parties I attended decreased and the amount of the same CDs increased.

I eat way too much Puccho and drink way too much WANDA. I am now diabetic.

I became a real life DD and girls call me a player.

Did You Tell Your Significant Other That You’re a Wota?

I recently got a girlfriend but I don’t have the courage to tell her because it might scare her away. Have you revealed this about yourself? When is the right time to do it?

DON’T TELL HER! You can hide CDs easily but posters and other merch are harder to hide.

Maybe your girlfriend is a wota.

Or a Johnny’s wota.

When you’re about to see her, delete the Google+ app.

What’s a “girlfriend”? Never heard of such thing.

You can’t win against a real woman.

About Yoshi

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11 comments

  1. They should revive those AKBingo cooking challenges and put Uchida in it just to check if we can smell what The Rock is cooking.

    I don’t get Kikuchi’s bomber reference.

    Miyazaki- as in “she got as big as a (space fortress)”?

    Oya should then endorse adidas.

    Sugamoto- Wouldn’t “these melons from Fukuoka” be more accurate? haha

    Does Yukirin train Muay Thai so she can kick as high as Komori?

    “I eat way too much Puccho and drink way too much WANDA. I am now diabetic.”- if he were American, he’d be suing Aki-P by now.

    Thanks for the translations!

  2. ^I don’t want to know what The Rock is cooking lol

    ++ Things That Changed After You Started Liking AKB
    +” I quit a job that I had for 6 years for lack of motivation. I was jobless and drank during the day and lived a pathetic lifestyle for 6 months but when I started watching AKB videos, I gained energy inside and started running during the day time and began to have a positive attitude and started working again. If I didn’t have AKB, I would have committed suicide or be dead in a ditch. I don’t care what other people say, but I thank AKB for that”
    – My Reaction: 。・゚・(ノД`)・゚・。

    + “I get teary more often.”
    – My Reaction: ( ・´ω・`)

    +” No money.

    My wife and daughter do not call me, “papa” but call me, “creepy wota”. I do not regret a thing.

    I eat way too much Puccho and drink way too much WANDA. I am now diabetic.”
    – My Reaction: (^p^)<< hahahahahahahaha!

  3. If you smeeeeelll……..

    http://i.imgur.com/yTBaJ.jpg

  4. “Idolfer”…..That’s genius.
    “Commit seppuku” HAHAHA
    “Does you lover know you’re a wota?” Laughed just reading the title, these are great!

  5. I enjoyed the segment about how you’ve changed since becoming an AKB fan. I was surpised to see a few serious answers amongst the plethora of jokes. I myself have also changed considerably since discovering AKB, I can honestly say that AKB has drastically impacted me and my life in a positive way.

    I like reading that this is the same for others.

  6. Fujita Runa “Cousin”
    lolllllllllllllllllllllll

  7. “…. and the amount of the same CDs increased”

    “I eat way too much Puccho and drink way too much WANDA. I am now diabetic”

    LOL XD made my day hahaha

  8. I enjoyed this. I have to say I stumbled into AKB because of the Anime and before that was more into MomoClo – I spent the summer of 2012 devouring bits & clips of AKB (AKBingo, concerts, TV appearances) – I saw an interview with Aki-P on CNN and I can honestly say, I think he gets me (what inspires me about women).

    As an American I am saddened & in some ways disgusted by all the skanks, ho’s, gangsta nonsense my culture spits out. I love that AKB48 exists. It cheers me up and makes me feel appreciation for these girls who try so hard & have a higher view of themselves as Idols in terms of being performers. I’m sure they’re far from angels in reality but they’re so much more refined and interesting than American girls.

    I miss the girls being girly. I like that the AKB girls are “normal girls” with an extraordinary job. They do so much just to entertain and they aren’t afraid to be the objects of the “Male Gaze”, I wish America had a vision as pure as AKB48 – Guys need to dream about “nice girls” and it makes me smile that the AKB girls are “real” people- I’m sure they’re not all rainbows & cat ears but we’re sharing a common fantasy- They want to be “Idols” and we want to worship an Ideal “female fantasy”. They cheer for us & we cheer for them all on the same cloud.

    *For the record, I’ve haven’t bought anything AKB – I would but I don’t know how. I would go to a handshake event or see them live though

  9. HAHAHA! Yukirin flirts with Sae xD
    SaeYuki kawaii <3 :3

  10. After I know AKB I stopped playing around with other people and spend my money for them only.

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