2chan Says the Darndest Things Vol. 7

Volume 7 of “2chan Says the Darndest Things”!
Is there an heir apparent to Takahashi Minami?
AKB goes to Disney.
Possibility that your dad may be a secret wota…

Who can be a successor to Takahashi Minami?

Takahashi is starting to do solo work and has shown ability as a TV talent and will probably graduate to pursue a solo career. Who will succeed her? I personally like Shimada Haruka.

There’s no one that can succeed her.

It should be Oshima. She shouldn’t be the next center but the captain.

Hmm… Shimada… Takamina is cute. Isn’t there anyone else who’s cute and has leadership skills?

Shimada feels different. I think in this new generation, someone like Takeuchi and Nakamura would be more like Takamina.

It’s out of the blue but I think Mayu would be good.

I vote for Mii-chan.

Takahashi Minami can never be replaced. I think it would be Minegishi or Sashihara.

I vote for Yamamoto Sayaka.

In terms of leadership, Yamamoto Sayaka.

Takahashi isn’t graduating so there’s no need for a successor.

I realized that there are successors but there aren’t any at the same time. Someone like Shimada has leadership but will never rank 6th or 7th in the elections. A leader needs to be recognized by the common folk.

Moeno fits the bill. <– You mean Nito.

There’s no Takamina before Takamina. There’s no Takamina after Takamina.

She’s different from Takamina but I think Yokoyama would be good. She doesn’t need to try to be Takamina but after she gained weight, I don’t think she’ll be pushed to become the center. <–She’s the only person post 7th gen that has a shot at being center. She’ll be in the top 16 in the elections this year.

A leader to hold down the entire AKB family would be Jurina or Yamamoto.

Takamina should be able to battle for another 5 years.

Just make Nonaka a captain. <- But she’s not moving.

I think Yokoyama. Takamina herself has said that Yokoyama is similar to her. I don’t think Yamamoto would work. She should stay in a sister group.

Lets just end the discussion with Chikano.

When Takamina is not around, I heard Sashiko takes the leadership role. She’s not the center type so I think she’s a good candidate.

Sashihara is too otaku so I think it’ll be tough. They need a delinquent who cherishes their friends.

Iwata Karen because she seems to be passionate.

What is it like to Oshihen?

Is it when you just get bored of your oshi or is it like in the “Team B Oshi” lyrics when they say one of them will catch your eye during a performance?

Oshihen is ludicrous.

When you notice an appeal your oshimen doesn’t have.
When you start noticing members that are similar to your oshimen.

When you see someone else shine.

When you see extreme gain in weight.

You can oshihen once.
When you notice your oshimen looking down on her fans.

Your oshimen gaining weight. Wears too much make up. Dyes her hair a dirty color. You lose the ability to put up with their unintelligent remarks.


I would never oshihen.
Sae forever.

Wonderful! I am forever a Tomochin oshi!

As long as Yukirin doesn’t get involved in a scandal, I will support her.

Oshihen isn’t something you announce. It just happens.

When your oshimen is a member who is hung out to dry and starts getting more jobs.

I oshihen when they fart at a handshaking event.

I oshihen when they graduate.

What would happen if AKB rented out Disney?



Yamauchi vs Yokoyama for Nagao.

When they’re on a ride, they yell, “YOSSHA IKUZOOOO!” at the start of it.

Takamina is not tall enough to ride the roller coasters.

During the Splash Mountain photo moment, Yukirin winks at the camera.

A 26 year old will not enter the haunted house.

Kuramochi munches on Mickey’s ear.

As soon as Kashiwagi arrives, the weather gets bad and all attractions are closed down.

Kinoshita Momoka is refused entrance when she tries to enter Disney wearing blood covered school girl outfit.

“Hey you, research student, go get me a fast pass.”-Senbatsu member

Oshima Yuko pulls on Mickey’s tail.

Harugon stares into Mickey’s mouth.

Lovetan hides inside a trash can.

Harugon disappears and is found sleeping on top of one of floats for the Electrical Parade.

Noro Kayo is mistaken for Pooh.

Wotas are jealous of people inside the mascots that the members are hugging.

Sashihara wets herself on Splash Moutain.

My dad hates AKB but…

He calls them Mayuyu and Takamina and other members by their nicknames. I just wanted to say how happy I am.

Your dad is a secret wota.

My dad takes his cell phone to the bathroom.

I get scared when I hear my superior mention AKB.

The dads like Tomochin.

A few months later you see your dad in Mayu’s handshake lane. <- If I see that, that’s the day I graduate from being a wota.

Get your father tickets to Ogi Matsuri. <- I’ll cry if my father goes to that event before I do.

My dad was watching Kayoukyoku and saw Mayu and Paruru and said, “It’s Payuyu today, huh?” <- I’ve never even used, “Payuyu”.

I heard my father say, “Yeah, my son is a noob. He got into them after Oogoe” on the other side of the door.

A month later, you’ll start hearing this from the bathroom, “I love you! Aishiteru! hmm, hmm, Aishiteraburu~!” <- my dad will know of SKE too!?

Check to see if your dad is humming “Team B Oshi”.

I don’t want to hear my dad hum, “Wagamama Collection” <- Ossan Collection lol

Dad: Hey, how do you vote? Is Paruru going to rank this year? How many votes would it take for her to rank?

I was shocked when my mom started calling Kojima, “Nyan Nyan”.

All of your fathers are reading this thread!<- I know, my dad is playing with his phone right now and he got a nice long look at the Round One CM with NMB.

My dad calls the members by nickname but his original ones.

I remember when my dad asked me last year, “Hey, are they not showing ‘Ue Kara Mariko’ on TV?”.

My dad can say, “Nyan Nyan” without shame. <- you can practice with cats to get used to it.

I was watching AKBINGO on the second floor and heard my dad laugh on the first floor at the same time.

Ya’ll need to take care of your dads and walk them through handshaking events.

My dad bought “Koko ni Itakoto” and blasts it when he’s in the bath.

About Yoshi

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  1. I must say I like the people who suggested Yokoyama. I think she’s the best choice. I doubt any person can truly match Takamina’s leadership skills, though.

    I think people oshihen when they feel like they made their choice too early and end up liking other girls more.


    HAHAHAHAHAHAH I LAUGHED SO HARD…but poor Itano. I really like that girl. :/

    “Takamina is not tall enough to ride the roller coasters.

    During the Splash Mountain photo moment, Yukirin winks at the camera.”


    “Sashihara wets herself on Splash Mountain”

    Hey, at least no one will notice. XD

    These are great, Anthony. But do you mind linking to the original thread in these articles? My Japanese is terrible but I still would like to take a look. :)

  2. All the Disneyland ones are fucking GOLD.

  3. 1.Oshima Yuko pulls on Mickey’s tail.

    2.Harugon stares into Mickey’s mouth.

    YES! Fucking around around with Mickey fufufufu

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