2chan Says the Darndest Things Vol. 24

Volume 24 of “2chan Says the Darndest Things”!


What You Call Maeda Atsuko Will Determine Your Personality

What do you guys call Maeda Atsuko?

1. Maeda Atsuko-Shy, not out-going.

2. Atsuko-Methodical, clean room.

3. Acchan-A lot of friends. Bright personality.

4. Assan-Perceptive. Caring.

5. Ketsuko(Assko)-Strong-willed. Self-centered.

6. MaeAtsu-Popular with women. Ikemen.

7. DaaMae-Easily influenced.

8. Kintaro-No awareness of their surroundings.

I am three. I think most former Acchan oshis are that.

I am every single one but eight.

I am two but my room is messy.

Someone actually calls her Ketsuko?

I’m popular with women AND an ikemen?


When and where do they hire the handshake event workers?

I’d rather do that then and be around the members and not spend any money.

They don’t hire wota.

I think I would bust out laughing if I’m in charge of seeing how a salty member handshakes.


Things That Make You Think, “What Was That About?”

Sashihara vs. Nogizaka.



What President Katayama was supposed to do.

No mention of SDN yet.

National tour.

Team Dragon.

A mud covered summer PV.

Making AKB into a school.

“Want to have a baby with me?”

Shitty “So Long!” PV


Problems That You Will Face When You Marry A Member

If you marry Iwatate Saho, you will see grasshoppers in your lunch.


You have to hangout with Fujie Reina’s dad.


Your floor will start to smell if you marry Kawaei Rina.

It rains most of the time when you go out with Yukirin.

Milky stops fishing you when you marry her.

You can’t remember all of Maeda Atsuko’s pets’ names.

Ichiro. Swinging a bat until the sun comes up.



Lets Come Up With A New Reason For Graduation

I’m tired of hearing about focusing on studies. Lets think of something that’s not related to studying abroad or focusing on studies.

The bean sprouts in my refrigerator are about expire so I need to leave.

I’ve been having sex the entire time.

My stomach hurts.

I will go back to my hometown and start farming.

Management won’t push me.

I’m tired of shaking hands.

I want to date my boyfriend without backlash.

A fortune teller told me to quit.

I want to head in a different musical direction.

I am at my physical limit.

I don’t want to have a concurrent position.

There was a cockroach in my locker.

I’m going to audition for HKT so I am leaving AKB.

God told me to quit.

Kitagawa Kenji is a pervert so I quit.

I found a pink slip in my locker.

I’m pregnant.

I bought a PS3 so I will be graduating.

I’m a Johnny’s wota so I will graduate.

I will be going to America to challenge the Majors.

Because I can’t get weekends off.


Stuff Noobs Have Wrong

Mukouda Manatsu.

Kuramochi is second gen.

Mariko is first gen.

There is a member who is Akimoto’s illegitimate child.

Jurina and Rena are sisters.

They think election results last an entire year.


“Who Is Your Oshimen?” <-STOP DIS

Don’t me ask me this when I see you at a concert or meet you for the first time.

I’m scurred…

Who’s your oshimen?

My bad, I always say this. Where are you from? Who’s your oshi?


If you have an oshi towel around your neck, no one will ask.

I tell people I’m a Rena oshi but I tend to have Yuria pictures as a background on my phone.

“I am a Yuasa oshi”.

Real men aren’t afraid to admit that they’re an Akiyoshi Yuka oshi.

“How much do you spend a month?”. This is the most annoying one.

Man… I can’t tell anyone that I’m a Izuta Rina oshi…


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