2chan Says the Darndest Things Vol. 23

Volume 23 of “2chan Says the Darndest Things”!


The Reason Why You Got Into AKB48

I watched Kuramochi’s prank on youtube.


Because Oshima Mai was there. I Used To Love H.E.R.

I thought Oogoe was a good song.

Because I met Ono Erena.

I was brainwashed by a roommate three and a half years ago.

I was into “K-On” then I saw Mayu cosplay as Akiyama Mio and went from “K-On” to AKB.


Things That Disappointed You About AKB

How many theater versions actually make up the CD sales.

When I saw you guys.

When I saw a bald idol.

The increase in amount of stuck up, annoying middle/high school fans.

The disbandment of Team 4.

The “Team 8 will be formed” lie.

Romance wasn’t truly banned.

First day of Seibu Dome.

No new stages are starting.


Things That Might Happen At This Year’s Election

Rain cancellation.

Graduation announcements on stage.

More sister group members rank than AKB.

Yokoyama passes out during her speech.

The entire venue is silent during the announcement for 26th.

The audience starts to leave after 3rd place is announced.


 Awkward Moments At The Election If It Were To Happen

Sayaka and Milky’s ranks switch.

All Undergirls are SKE, NMB, HKT.

Minegishi is 26th.

Members who aren’t pushed and have rich fans makes it into senbatsu.

Izuta: 64th.

Takamina drops out of Kami-7.

If Minegishi was the only research student to not participate.

Shinoda Mariko: 1st.

A married member in senbatsu.

Nacchan is 26th.

If Tashima is unranked.

If Minegishi cries during her speech and then her wig falls off.

Kawaei forgets to wear clothes and sits in her chair naked.

If Yokoyama Yui doesn’t cry.

1st: Miyazawa Sae Vote Count: 1,156,778

2nd: Suzuki Mariya Vote Count: 258,996

3rd Oshima Yuko Vote Count: 96,743


I Don’t Have Any Springs Clothes To Wear To Handshake Events

Real men wear hoodies.

Always hoodies.

I wear a suit every time.

Wear a cross necklace and pretend like you’re popular to women.

Just buy it off the mannequin.

I don’t have a face to wear…


It all comes down to how good looking you are. You all should wear clothes on your face.

Wear a bathing suit.


Words That Would Hurt Your Feelings If The Members Said Them To You

“Fat four eyes.”

“Don’t show your face in front of me again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening to what you were saying.”

“There’s a nose hair sticking out.”

“Nice to meet you” after I’ve met her multiple times.

“You’re gross.”

“Don’t come here again, you creepy wota.”

“My little brother is bigger than you.”

I’m a 26 year old male and Lovetan called me, “cute” and it hurt me a bit.

I’m clearly an ugly guy and the member called me “ikemen”.

“Good luck, virgin!”

“Don’t shake my hand with the hand you touch your d*ck with.”


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