2chan Says the Darndest Things Vol. 22

Volume 22 of “2chan Says the Darndest Things”!


How Are You Making Wota Friends?

I’m alone during handshake events. I feel lonely.

Talk to other lonely looking people.

Talk to people behind you during handshake events. Older men are usually nice.

Can I make friends using Twitter?

Mixi is trustworthy.

Drag your regular friends into becoming a wota.

If you have wota friends, it makes it harder to quit being a wota.


If AKB Got Rid Of The Love Ban Rule, Will You Quit Being A Wota?

No worries.

I don’t think I’ll quit.

I will quit.

I don’t think I’ll quit but I think the members with boyfriends will lose popularity and the whole group’s popularity will decline.

I won’t quit but if the outfits aren’t cute and if I get bored, I’ll quit.

It depends on the member. If it was Kojima Haruna or Umeda Ayaka, I could forgive them but if they’re middle or high school students, I won’t be able to handle it.

I don’t want some random weirdo dating them.

The fans that spend a lot of money to buy handshake tickets and support the group heavily will probably quit.


The Merits Of Getting Rid Of The Love Ban

Wotas will have a shot at dating the member.

It will help members get rid of their stress.

The members will go after popular celebrities. Only one that will date a wota is probably Sashihara.

Buy 200 tickets for a handshake event. “Hey, date me. There’s no love ban so who cares. Do you not like me? If you say no, I won’t buy handshake tickets anymore”. Then members start dating wota.

Wota going to handshake events will decrease so there’s less stress on the members.

The members who say that they have no interest in dating will become more popular.


Members’ Nicknames That You Are Embarrassed To Say In Front Of People





Anything that ends with “nyan” or “chun” is embarrassing.








Mayuyu is definitely embarrassing.


If you say, “Nyannyan” or “Sakura-tan” to non-wota, I bet people will think you’re creepy.

Nothing can beat “Lovetan”.





Before I admitted to being a wota, I called Oshima Yuko by her full name.


If you can’t call members by their nickname, you can’t be a wota!








Something You Started Doing Because Of The Members

Shaved head.


I started wearing a banana patterned hoodie.




I went skydiving in hopes of good CD sales.


Melon Pan.

I visited castles in hopes of having more stuff to talk about during handshake events.

Animal Crossing.

I started playing golf but I oshihened… Golf is fun so I still play though.

Pokemon. I got bored after 5 days.

I went to see Takarazuka. It was pretty fun.

Even though she graduated, I started doing everything left-handed because of Maeda Atsuko.

I started listening to Fudanjuku.

Sleep late, wake up early.

I got really into marathon. I run at a huge park near my house on the weekends.

Ab workout. She informed me of an effective workout on her blog.

Thanks to Matsui Rena, I started putting mayonaise on tonkotsu ramen. I can’t be the only one.

I started to like cats after Manatsu posted pictures of her cat.

I’ve learned the beauty of ears.


Thanks to Tomochin, I started to clean the toilet.

She’s not my oshi but I got over the embarrassment of showing my ass when I’m drunk.

Love ban.


Things That Happen While Waiting In Line At A Handshake Event

Super sweaty hands.

I stare at Sayaka’s thighs.

Stare at the ceiling.

Cry at how much better the kids are treated.

Struggle with diarrhea pain.

Look at the member in the next lane who I have no interest in and think to myself, “she’s pretty”.

I simulate handshake situations but when I get to the member, my mind goes blank.

The person in front of you talks to the member about the same exact thing.

The feeling of despair when an ikemen is in front of you in line.

Look around to see if you’re the ugliest guy around.


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