2chan Says the Darndest Things Vol. 17

Volume 17 of “2chan Says the Darndest Things”!


“Words That Fans of 48 Groups Search For Online”

 Center, Next

 AKB, Foreign, Reaction

 Sayaka, Abs

 Uchida, Rock(Iwa)

 (insert oshimen’s name) Boyfriend, Lover

 Mannish, Meaning

 Nakata Chisato, Who

 Katayama Haruka, Age

 Banana, Mayonaise, Bread

 (insert member’s name) Print Club, Leak

 Yamamoto Sayaka, Swimsuit, Pictures

 tgsk, Meaning

 SKE, Katsuo

 Yokoyama, Clothing

 Sashihara, Bungie

 Takahashi Minami, Man


 If AKB Members Were to Hold A Wedding Ceremony

 When the bride and groom are about to give their final speech, tgsk comes out wearing a tuxedo.

 The ceremony starts with an overture.

 Yukirin looks like she wants to go home.

 Aki-P is surprisingly good at giving speeches.

 They’ll air a terrible broadcast of the ceremony on Fuji TV.

 Yuko starts stripping at the after party.

 The members must wear Shinoda Mariko designed wedding dresses.

 The seating is decided by lottery.

 Itano drops the wedding cake.

 The groom gets fished by Milky.

 Oohori Megumi goes for the bouquet with everything she’s got.

 DiVA gets drunk.

 The video introducing the bride and groom is directed by a famous director and is overly dramatic and excessively long.

 The bride becomes ill at the last minute and then an understudy fills in.

 The bride and groom give you high fives as you exit the ceremony.


 A 2ch Thread You Might See In 10 Years

 When is Mariko going to graduate?

[Sad News] Mayuyu, changes her nickname to, “Mayu-san”.

[Again] Ryo-chan congrats on first place, four years in a row [I’m honestly bored]

Newest Single Debuts 35th on Oricon Rankings [1254 copies]

How long is the “Ramune no Nomikata” stage going to continue for?

[Again] Acchan Graduates! [4th Time]

We haven’t found a replacement Oshima for Oshima Ryoka.

[Once A Year] Harugon-san, also known as, Gonzou changes her nickname again [11th Time]

Ashida Mana finally joins AKB.

JKT member, Sashihara caught in a scandal again. Sent off to TPE [7th Time]

We stand united as we request AKB take back the release of Hirajima Natsumi.

[Sakura-sama] Why did Miyawaki Sakura become rebellious? [Ex-Sakura-tan]

When is Kasai Tomomi getting a photobook?

Congratulations to Yamauchi Suzuran! First golf tournament win!

[Can’t Run Anymore] Running as Watari Rouka Hashiritai, CinDy [Finally alone]

Shocking! AKB theater is now a Beef Bowl Restaurant!

You guys remember Nogizaka46?


If you add “…” at the end of the catch phrase, the catch phrase becomes painful

I’m from Saitama…

Do, re, mi, do, mi, do, Myao…

I want to be a fresh lemon…

I might be small but my fiery passion is bigger than Mount Everest…

I… love… Takoyaki…

Rebellious 24/7, 365 days out of the year…

I look a little bit yankee… My heart is made of glass…

Mix milk and Miyuki and you get…


The Days and Lives of Members Who Are Pushed

 5:30 Get up for shoot. I’m still sleepy, idiot.

 6:30 Manager comes and picks me up. Passed out until we get to the destination.

 I have a theater performance tomorrow and I’m worried about remembering my choreography.

 7:30 CM shoot starts. The same members as usual.

 8:45 Shinoda’s taking pictures of us so I smile.

10:00 Quick break but there is a set and costume change. So tired…

Drama shoot tonight. I’m nervous about working with famous actors.

I’ve been so busy recently that I haven’t had a chance to see the shows I’ve been on.

I do a interview for a TV magazine. I’m starting to run out of things to say during interviews.

I want to work with other members from time to time.

I’m tired but my eyes shine during interviews.

The handshake event is this weekend orz. Standing up for hours is rough.

The filming for our show is in the evening. All I do is sit there and make comments. Do we need this many people?

I haven’t memorized the choreography for the music video we’re shooting tomorrow. I’ll just look around and copy everyone else.

2 AM It’s not over yet…

I got a text from a Team 4 member. Who is this?

People say I don’t update my blog or Google+ enough. If I had time for that, I’d get some sleep instead.

I get so many texts from the younger members. I just respond with, “I love you”.

Drinking with friends. I think there’s a cameraman from a magazine following us…

I’m always in senbatsu but I got in janken senbatsu. I feel bad for the members who don’t get a push. I wanted to get some rest before the year ended.

The members that were in senbatsu with me are starting to be left out. I think my time is up soon…

I forgot to update the blog. Whatever.

My dog likes my manager more than me.

People say I don’t update Google+ at all but I lost my Samsung Galaxy 6 months ago. What am I supposed to say now…

I get so many comments on my blog posts that I can’t read them all.

I have a lot of jobs as AKB but I don’t have any jobs outside it…

Watched AKBINGO for the first time in a long time. I realize that I haven’t been on AKBINGO and become depressed.

I haven’t seen a member I recognize on Shukan AKB in the past month.

Man, I wish I wasn’t getting a push…


Is There Something You Would Like To See Your Oshimen Fix About Herself?

I hope she stops using vulgar words.

“I’m fine with being in the middle ranks!” You’re in the entertainment business. Aim for the top.


She only takes pictures of other members. Take pictures of yourself too!

I want her to stop winking so much during theater performances. I want her to concentrate on performing.

How she holds her chopsticks.

Don’t look at me with your sexy eyes~.

Please stop threatening me to buy your calendar at hand shake events.

I wish she would react to funny moments on TV shows. At the least put your hands on your face and pretend like you’re laughing.

Whatever I say to her, the only response I get is, “thank you”. She looks peppy and cute but can you give me something more?


I want her to fix the way she tries to put herself out there. She doesn’t have a blog so I wish she would try to show herself on Google+. She needs all the help because she hasn’t received a push in a while.

I expect nothing from her so she doesn’t need to fix anything.

About Yoshi

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