Volume 15 of 2chan Says the Darndest Things!
If AKB Members Were Flight Attendants
They give you a high five when you arrive at your destination
The overture plays before the flight departs
Hilary does the English announcing on the flight
The tickets are expensive because it comes with handshake tickets
Atsuko: We will be landing at Haneda Airport shortly.
Everyone else: Yay!
Hilary: Beef or chicken?
Nakagawa Haruka’s carryon bag is full of snacks
The flight attendants from the Osaka branch have tight, revealing outfits and the flights are really bumpy for some reason
An in-flight only CD can be bought on the plane
What If AKB Members Were In the Self-Defense Force
Harugon screams too loud and makes the drill sergeant suffer from depression
The members practice at the firing range with AK-47’s
Fresh Lemon is not issued a helmet
Sashihara does not sky dive
Abe pulls the pin out of the grenade but mistakenly throws the pin and not the grenade
Akicha masters close quarters combat on the first day
What Should Akimoto Yasushi Do Immediately?
Apologize to Jo
Take care of Jo
Comment about Jo
Just write lyrics
Take care of his body
Find a center
Create a clone of himself
Since he can’t do it all himself, hire someone from the outside and get himself some help. If he doesn’t do this sooner, the talent he has will just rot.
Composer: Matsui Sakiko
Let Jurina wear a bikini
Push SKE HARD
Buy Acchan two cars
What If AKB Members Were Hospital Staff
Yuria gives you the wrong medication
Kuramochi Asuka is a Otolaryngologist
Komori Mika is a Neurologist
Oya Masana is a Pediatrician
Yuko: Okay, please show me your butt.
Mayu: Oshiri ω
Yuko: Oshiri ω
Kinoshita Momoka is always a bloody nurse
Patient: Doctor, tell me the truth. Do I have cancer?
Doctor Sashihara: It’s true but not true and yet true.
Doctor Sashihara misdiagnoses a patient and is sent to Hakata.
Nakagawa Haruka is not allowed to give shots to patients even as a veteran
Doctor Kojima: Humans only have one heart?
Nurse Kojima: Oh nooooo, there’s air in the IV. I’ll show my panties!
Note What Your Family Members Say About AKB Members
Mom: (Looking at Sashihara) That girl has thick legs
Little sister: AKB again!? There’s no helping you!
Dad: I saw that this girl(Itano) is really scary behind the scene on a TV documentary.
Mom: Of course. This girl is the cutest girl in the group. She’s probably thinking, “why am I not number one?”
Me: (I’m an Itano oshi…)
Grandma: This Morning whatever has grown in numbers.
Mom: Isn’t this girl plastered on your wall?
Mom: (Looking at Paruru) Oh, that’s Yokoyama Yui.
Mom: (Watching Iriyama’s cup noodle CM)
Mom: I can’t believe you’re into AKB. Jeez. What’s her name?
Me: I don’t know(my oshi).
Mom: If you like girls like her, you’ll make me sad.
Dad: What shows does Chikarina show up on?
Mom: The members aren’t great but Akimoto Yasushi is amazing.
Me: (Kojima Oshi)
Mom: Kojiharu talks like an idiot. Haaaaai, I’m Kojimahhhhh(impersonating Kojima)
Me: YOU DON’T SOUND LIKE HER STOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Mom: You like that girl on the right(points at Acchan), Ohashi, right?
Me: No, she’s on the left and her name is Oshima.
Mom: Oh, on the left, Ohashi, okay.
Older brother sees Jurina last year.
Brother: This girl is cute. Not bad at all. What’s her name?
Me: She’s in S… in a group from Nagoya. Matsui Jurina.
Brother: Hmm, how old is she?
Mom: What if Kashiwagi becomes number one?
Dad: I think I’ll cry. I’ll cry like a man.
I was an Acchan oshi in 2010.
Dad: That Maeda Acchan is cute, huh?
Me: Huh!? What? Oh that Ay Kay Bee thing?
I oshihened to Akicha in 2011.
Dad: This Takashiro girl is cute.
Me: Huh!? Oh… I don’t know…
I oshihened to Paruru in 2012.
Dad: I was supposed to go drinking tonight but I came home to watch “Majika”. That lead girl is cute.
Me: Huh!? Oh that girl who isn’t that great of an actress?
Dad: You’re watching, “Majika” too?
Me: It pisses me off that Sashihara is ranked so high when she’s so ugly.
Mom: Popularity isn’t about looks.
I Don’t Want This AKB 1/153 Game
If you reject Shimazaki, she will randomly chase you with a knife
If you reject Churi, she will pester you by asking you why you rejected her
If you want to date Nakagawa Haruka, you have to live through the Japanese summer without air conditioning
Shimada’s voice is so loud in the game that your neighbors complain to you about it
Kashiwagi only sends you a text message once every 2-3 weeks
You work up the courage to ask Takamina out but she turns out to be a dude
The confession scene is a DLC for 480 yen
If you reject Jurina, Yasushi comes out to console her but looks happy because she is still single
It is easy to date Sashihara
Instead of Takajo Aki, Aki Takejo asks you out